My Aunt Sissy, Sylvia Kaplan (nee Lotz), passed away last night. We got a call from her neighbor and dear friend, Laura, urging us to come to Coney Island Hospital where she had been taken in an unfruitful effort to revive her. She died peacefully and suddenly after spending a lovely day with her aide Norma. They had been cooped up inside for the past several days while the heavens poured out unending rain. But yesterday was clear and they spent several hours sitting on the green commons outside her Warbasse apartment in Brighton. Sissy was in a wonderful mood and greeted friends and strangers alike. She loved little children and a neighbor, Elena, was there with her kids and Norma said that Sissy was energized by talking to them. That evening she gave Sissy dinner "which she ate well and plentifully" and then washed her and put her to bed where she passed away, literally, in her arms.
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| Cory and Sissy at the Brooklyn, Botanic Garden April, 2009 |
Standing out in my memory are the numerous birthday parties for Jay and Cory; barbecues in the front yard with the extended family all around and we kids racing up and down the path that fronted the house. My mom adored her younger brother Seymour and counted him and Sissy among their close friends. In later years Sissy and Seymour lived in Manhattan Beach for a time and that relationship was even closer - mutual visits and lots of nights out at a favorite diner. The kids, of course, were long gone in those years - the 80's into the 90's - so Stacey and I, living in Manhattan Beach as well, didn't see them but contact was maintained though not as frequently.
In recent years, after Seymour's demise with a terrible bout of cancer and with Jay and Cory living far away, Stacey and I and a niece, Ellen, on Sissy's side of the family, looked after Sissy and dropped in on her frequently. There were many dinners and lunches or just outings. When Sissy had mostly lost her sense of taste we introduced her to Indian cuisine with its strong flavors and she enjoyed that. I remember a birthday party at our favorite Indian restaurant in Bay Ridge. Her boyfriend in those years was Hy who we included in our outings. Hy, too, passed away but Sissy continued on and had many good years.
She lived in the Warbasse development of high rises in West Brighton. She still went to the Brighton Baths which was a wonderful social environment that nourished both Seymour and Sissy with friends and activities. After it closed, she joined a beach club in Sea Gate and continued her socializing there. That was given up in more recent years as she aged and her health deteriorated somewhat. In these last few years, Sissy began to lose her memory and her health continued to fade. There were injuries and falls, a broken hip and elbow and more memory loss and confusion. So it goes. But through it all there was a very sweet woman with a calm demeanor who was always happy to see us and greeted us with a smile and a kiss. We knew it was a genuine affection for us when we visited - it wasn't just a smile pasted on for effect.
I'm fortunate to have celebrated her 91st birthday with her just a week or so ago and that's how I will remember her: smiling, cheerful and happy to see me. When we made a sad farewell last night, viewing her lifeless body at the hospital, I was overcome with an intense sadness, realizing that death is so final - I would never see my dear Aunt Sissy again. We will miss her, almost the very last of her generation in our family. We miss her already.
To see a collection of photos of Aunt Sissy go here.
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| Our for Pizza at Il Fornino in Williamsburg. March, 2008. |
