On Being A Grandpa

Oct 17, 2009.

Ethan's in the habit of saying, suddenly, and for no particular reason, this: "I love you Grandpa." The very next moment my heart melts. That's when you know that being a grandpa means you've entered a different period of your life. I look at my daughter - she was the baby once upon a time, many years ago. Here she is, with Erik, taking care of her own baby.

Ethan turned three today. How fast was that? It happened in a blink of the eye. Yet the differences in him from then till today are immense. Looking back at photos that span the three years, one can see the giant changes in my grandson that the day-to-day passage of time has otherwise blurred.

Ethan at birth - October 17, 2006.

>> Note - you can click on any photo to see it larger. <<

Ethan at eight months, June 25, 2007.

Ethan at his 1-year birthday party.

Ethan at two. October 15, 2008.

Even though Stacey just returned from Hampton - helping Dani with a crafts fair at which she was selling the bibs that she creates, (take a look at Dani's Bibs!), we had to return there for the big birthday celebration. So we loaded our car and drove south, stopping overnight to visit friends Ellen and Brian and Cousin Dotty in Arlington. The next morning, onwards to Hampton, three hours beyond.

It was cold in New York (we saw that we left 37 degrees weather behind). It wasn't much warmer down there - 40's and wet and windy. But seeing our little boy turning three kept out the cold and warmed our hearts. Stacey brought a brisket. Dani had made some chicken soup (delicious! she's taking after her mom when it comes to cooking). We feasted and got the house ready for the Saturday party. And in between, we took Ethan for his second movie (in a theater) -- Where The Wild Things Are. It was a bit too "old" for him. Regardless, he sat through the entire film, asking questions all the way.

Yes, Ethan is talking a blue storm - the chatter is non-stop but filled with brilliant and oftimes hysterical phrases. I'm guessing he's mimicking stuff he hears around the house from mom and dad but when it comes out of his mouth it's just delicious.

Last night, his very last pacifier dropped into the toilet. He cried and cried and insisted on retrieving it. Mama told him he didn't need it any longer; she'd been trying to wean him of it for months. "You're going to be three years old tomorrow. You're going to be a big boy - big boys don't need passies." But Ethan was having none of that - "I'm not a big boy. I'm a wittle boy", he insisted. The other adults (I guess I'm not one of those) often correct his mis-pronunciations. They're teaching him. Not I. I want to hear "wittle" for as long as possible - until he corrects it - I crave those darling Ethanisms! Another one that thrills me - when describing his soon to end only child status - "I'm going to be a big brover. I'm going to have a baby sister-brover." (the sex of the new arrival is still unknown).

I guess you'll say I've said this before -- being a grandpa is just about the greatest thing I can imagine being, doing or becoming. - at his birth; at his first and second birthdays; and now at three. Truth is, it gets better all the time - day by day, month by month and year by year. I look at my grandson and try to imagine him at five, ten and twenty years old ... and I kvell even without actually knowing what he will be like or how he'll turn out. It's just a thing that grandpas think and wonder about. It's part of being a grandpa.

Ethan at three, October 17, 2009.

If you'd like to see more photos from our trip ....
click here -- Album or Slide Show

A Celebration, A Party For My Cousin.

Jun 9, 2008

We're on a road trip again. Yes I know, it's hard to believe what with gas prices being as high as they are. But, not to worry -- smart me ... I took out an equity loan to pay for the gas. That way it doesn't hurt as much.

We headed south, down the NJ Turnpike on this, the first day of Global Warming ... temperatures were hovering in the mid 90's and the highway seemed devoid of its usual congestion as if to underscore the effect that the rushing rise in gasoline prices is having on Americans. (it broke the average price of $4/gallon today). The New York Times wrote yesterday, that some Americans, particularly low-income rural folk, are paying as much as 16% of their incomes for gas! Where or how this will end is hard to figure out. But for me the current situation is no big surprise after eight years of a President and administration that were baptised, raised, bathed and nurtured in and by big OIL. (You did know that Condoleeza Rice had a Chevron oil tanker named after her, right? Beftore entering government service she worked for that oil company).


(Click on the map for a larger image). NY Times graph showing how much people are paying as a percentage of their incomes in various parts of the country.

Pardon me for digressing. Where was I? Yes, we're on a road trip -- on our way to visit our grandson, Ethan, and his parents. Now that they've moved from two-and-a-half-hours-away Connecticut to eight-hours-away Virginia, we don't get to see our grandson, daughter and son-in-law as often as we want. This is our first trip to their new house in Norfolk.

But first a stop in Arlington, Virginia, across the Potomac from Washington, for a visit with friends Ellen and Brian as well as a celebration of my cousin Dottie's 90th birthday. Dottie is my dad's first cousin - her mother and Ben's mother were sisters. Dottie and her brother, Maxie, were closest of friends with my father as they grew up together in what was a very close-knit family. My dad's gone. And Maxie died many years ago. Stacey and I became close to Dottie as my parents were declining. We kept that new-found relationship going after they died. And that kinship has put me in touch with a part of my family with which I had no previous contact. From Dottie I've gotten to meet new cousins in California (Maxie's daughters and former wife are out there) and a new cousin in Virginia (Kathy, Dottie's daugher) and her family. Like they say: Tengo familia! (I have family!)

Yesterday we celebrated Dottie's birthday at Judith's house. Judith is a friend of Dottie's daugher, Kathy. Surrounded by family and friends, it was a lovely and loving afternoon of good food and good people.

Waiting for Dottie to arrive - Brian and Ellen (close to camera), Judith (our hostess) and Mike.

Arthur and Harriet came in from Brooklyn also and we discovered that we had many friends in common, going all the way back to college!

Ah! The guest of honor.

Work was continuing in the kitchen with (l-r) Suri (Dottie's granddaughter), Kathy and Stacey.

Dottie arrived and was surrounded by her loved ones and ones who loved her. She is a remarkable woman who doesn't look anywhere near her age. I believe it's her ebullient demeanor and positive outlook that has kept her so young. Ever the optimist, she radiates cheerfulness and it's rare to find a frown on her face or a complaint on her tongue. That, despite a few infirmities and not a few personal tragedies. Because of Dottie's uplifting spirit, you couldn't help but see the admiration for her on the faces of her friends and family who had gathered to celebrate her birthday on this day.

Dottie, surrounded by people who love her.

Kathy has a lovely family and a nice circle of friends in Arlington who we've met on a few occasions over the last few years. Neighbors, old friends, family - it's always a gratifying and fun time at these events. Judith, our hostess, is a devoted peace activist and her house showed evidence of that. There was a feeling of warmth in the air and it wasn't only from the blistering 100 degree temperature outside.


Judith's house is bedecked with souveneirs of the peace movement and I felt right at home.


Marlene, Dottie's cousin, and Stacey - in the kitchen.

Two beautiful women - Dottie and Kathy's neighbor, Faith.

Capping off the afternooon was some great singing and picking by Ric (Kathy's husband) and his friends, Kim (pictured here) and Lynn.

Here's the whole bunch of us. Even your Blogger got into the shot, thanks to Ellen who took this picture.

And here's the family shot.

The afternoon slipped away. Finally the cake came out - Stacey had made one of her famous chocolate cakes and decorated it beautifully. (People ate it 'beautifully' also). It was a great day for a great lady. Happy, happy birthday Dottie!

Stacey's birthday cake is ready to be presented.

The candles are being lit.

Make a wish and blow them out!

Happy birthday to you ... happy birthday dear Dottie ... We Love You!

To see ALL my photos of this grand celebration,
just CLICK HERE.

Ethan Turns 18 - Wow!

Apr 25, 2008

Our grandson has turned 18. Months, not years. And now the change in him comes furiously fast - daily, there are new words, new expressions, new levels of comprehension.

Dani and Ethan came down to visit us for a week. The family is about to move to Virginia from Connecticut which means an eight hour trip, up from three. No longer will be able to hop in the car and return the same or next day - it was so easy. We can't stand the thought of not seeing that family so often and easily.

To keep you, our friends and family, updated, I write this post and include some new photos: pictures around the house and then a dinner date with Corey and Alex (who are expecting one of their own (on Stacey's birthday no less -- November 21st). Enjoy and have a great summer. - Matt

For a slide show of all the latest photos, just click here.

Dani and Ethan enjoying a beautiful day in front of our house.

For a slide show of all the latest photos, just click here.

Deerfield Beach - Here We Come!

February 4, 2008

Saturday morning, the day we were to leave Naples, we awoke early Rachel, Stacey and I took a walk in a nearby nature preserve: Clam Pass Park which contains one of Naples’ very beautiful beaches in a lovely natural setting. To reach the beach one has to walk a mile on a boardwalk (or you can take a free tram) through its 35 acres of mangrove forest. On the other end is a bar with snacks, kayack and umbrella rentals and endless gleaming white sand. Streams pierce the dense mangrove forest and exotic birds fly in and out. Strangely, high rise apartments are adjacent to the forest and degrade the natural feeling.

The entrance to Clam Pass Park on Naples’ north end.

Stacey and Rachel walk the mile. The boardwalk, which is constructed from recycled plastic waste, wends through a dense mangrove forest.

Tall luxury condos (don’t you just love the phrase "luxury condos"?) abut the nature preserve. I guess if you live there you would appreciate your closeness to the park and beach but I found it a disturbing intrusion.

After a while, you reach the beach and it’s beautiful and not crowded at all. Rent a kayak, a canoe, have a beer or just stretch out in a beautiful setting.

We returned home and loaded the car. The ride across Florida on I-75, Alligator Alley, was uneventful. There are few places to stop; the Everlades stretch out on either side of the road, a vast open land with scrub, swamps and palms as far as you can see. It took us a bit over two hours to reach my uncle and aunt’s home in Deerfield Beach which is just below Boca Raton and twenty minutes or so north of Fort Lauderdale.


View Larger Map

We were greeted with hugs and kisses and, even though they’re 92 and 93 (Bea and Walter, respectively) they are quite remarkable with a youthful appearance and demeanor. Walter’s memory is failing but he is still witty and charming and was so happy to see us. Bea is as sharp and physically cable as ever and she doesn’t seem to age at all.

Uncle Walter spends a good part of the day in his comfortable recliner. He’s as good-natured as you could possibly imagine.

We’ve stayed at Bea and Walter’s many times over the years. More often than not, we drive down and shlep our bikes with us (which I’ve sorely missed). This time we flew. Bea is a great cook and always has the welcome mat out for us. We spend time with them, discussing politics and family. And they give us free reign to come and go. It’s always a great place to stay and visit with family – it’s been a big part of our life.

Aunt Bea cooking up a mess of ribs, one of her great specialties. The next night was pasta with a white clam sauce. Yum!

My uncle in front of his house tending to his plants.

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Part of our usual routine when on the east coast of Florida is to meet our friends, Barbara and Mark. They are the consummate foodies, so in addition to enjoying their company they're a good source of all the great dining places. They also frequent the crafts fairs, concerts and street fairs. We met them in Fort Lauderdale at a jazz festival and then spent some time later for coffee on Las Olas.

Barbar, Mark and Stacey at the Jazz Brunch on the river in Ft. Lauderdale.

Mark at Stork's coffee house on the Intracoastal in Ft. Lauderdale.

As I mentioned, Lee and Alexis were also in Florida, although they were on their own trip, staying at a Marriott in Lauderdale. We had made up to meet them and would bring Bea and Walter down to them for a visit and lunch.

Aunt Bea and Uncle Walter and us, in front of their house in Deerfield Beach.

Down at the Marriott for lunch, Bea listens, Alexis emotes and Stacey peruses the menu.

My brother shows off his Iphone to Bea.

...who can't make heads or tails out of it.

Here's our family photo. That's Mike, an old friend of Lee and Lex's (and of ours) on the right.

And here's our family photo ... sans Michel.

Walter and Bea ... thanks for another wonderful visit. We love you!

Driving South - III

We biked back to our car which we had parked on Savannah's Washington Street. This was where the well-healed obviously lived as the streets in this area were lined with exquisite houses. Beautiful Southern oak trees, resplendent with hanging Spanish moss, lined the streets.


Bikes back on the car on Washington Street, we got ready to leave Savannah.

It would be a long seven hour ride to Deerfield Beach and my uncle and aunt's house. It was one o'clock when we set out from Savannah and we arrived around eight. Dinner was waiting for us: Aunt Bea's famous (to me) spare ribs. Bea and Walter had already eaten; eght o'clock was way past their dinnertime. But we were famished and dug in.

It was great to see my aunt and uncle again. Bea is 92 and Walter a year older and this May will be their 70th anniversary. What an accomplishment! Walter is suffering short term memory loss but is as sweet and welcoming as always. My aunt, my mom's sister and the last of that family's siblings, is as sharp as ever and in good physical condition as well. With a generous amount of natural black in her hair and her sociable personality, you'd never guess that this is a 92-year old woman.


Uncle Walter welcomed us as graciously as ever.


Aunt Bea was happy to see us.


A proud grandma shows Bea photos of her new grandson.

So here was our daily routine in the week we spent in Florida at Walter and Bea's: generally got up around 9 am. Temperatures were around 80 or so each day. Got on our bicycles and biked about 7 miles to Boca Raton (the next town north from Deerfield Beach). We would take a lovely back street that made its way along the Intracoastal Waterway: Spanish River Road. This was like biking through paradise. Beautiful birds chirped melodious tunes along our path -- a path that was lined with the magnificent mansions of the wealthy who lived on the water in their backyard. In front of each house, fabulous plantings and trees of great variety. In the back of each house, the water and, we assumed, the pleasure boats that belonged to the homeowner. Armies of gardeners were usually at work caring for the shrubbery or else contractors, making what seemed like endless repairs and renovations to these beautiful houses.

Our destination each morning was a cup of java at the Starbucks in the Mizner Park Mall in Boca. Then we'd bike 7 miles back to the Schaffers -- a little exercise didn't hurt; it helped to keep the caloric intake in balance, somewhat. On return to the Schaffer homestead we'd plan the rest of the day. That usually consisted of either sitting and sunning at their community's pool or running some errands or shopping for dinner. Many times we'd just sit around and chew the fat with my uncle and aunt, reminiscing about family and friends. And one day we took them out for lunch. Another evening we met our friends, Barbara and Mark (who winter in Florida) for a play and dinner. Whatever it was, the week passed quickly. Each day we'd check the weather back in New York. We were happy to see a warming trend up there, but that lasted only a day and then reverted to the 40's and 50's we had left behind.


Uncle Walter loves to look through old photos. He showed me this, a photo of my cousins and me taken, perhaps, in 1953. We had gone fishing at Sheepshead Bay near our home in Brooklyn. Left to right: Peter, Matt and Ken.


Bea and Walter in front of their home in Deerfield Beach. They'll celebrate their 70th anniversary this May!


And here's my beautiful wife of 35 years!


My aunt Bea and me. We're out for lunch at Marks In The Park in Boca Raton.


Walter, Stacey and Bea at lunch.


The romance is still there after 70 years.


We had a varied week filled with lots of different adventures. One night, we met our friends Barbara and Mark for a play and dinner in Fort Lauderdale.


And another night we took Bea and Walter to a local restaurant that we've enjoyed in previous visits: Cafe Valtellina.


We had a great old time!

Our week came to an end quickly. We could have stayed longer but a little cat was waiting for us back in Brooklyn and we didn't want to keep her waiting much longer. We started our drive back on Sunday but only drove for four hours, reserving a bed and breakfast in America's oldest city: St. Augustine. I'll tell you about that in my next post. Hasta Luego!